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S03E01: The Vacation Goo
When Francine discovers that all of their family vacations have been artificial memories created by the CIA so that Stan could ditch the family, she demands a real vacation. Meanwhile, Roger makes a desperate effort to be the greatest actor who ever lived.

S03E02: Meter Made
During an attempt to gain respect and be a “somebody,” Stan finds himself becoming a meter maid. He and Francine then use his authority as such in everyday life to get away with anything. Meanwhile, Roger paints a nude picture of Hayley.

S03E03: Dope & Faith
Stan thinks God has sent him a friend after praying for one. The man turns out to be an atheist, however, so Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life miserable. Meanwhile, Roger convinces Steve that he has been accepted at Hogwarts.

S0304: Big Trouble in Little Langley
Francine’s foster parents come to stay with the Smiths; Stan is greatly annoyed by their presence that he decides to find Francine’s real parents, hoping it will set things right. Meanwhile, Steve tries to live to the extreme in order to get to second base with the class hottie.

S03E05: Haylias
Hayley, having been brainwashed as a child by the CIA, is placed under Stan’s control after he activates her trigger word to stop her from moving to France; Stan, however, discovers that doing so has deadly consequences for him. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger become rival detectives.

S03E06: The 42-Year-Old Virgin
At a poker game with the guys, Stan reveals that he has never actually killed anyone and is therefore a “killing virgin.” Stan’s image in the house changes quite a bit, so Roger and the guys decide to help him pop his killing cherry.

S03E07: Surro-Gate
Francine decides to be a surrogate, against Stan’s wishes, for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg. Meanwhile, after Klaus swears horrible revenge on Steve and Roger after a prank, the two become reclusive and hide in the attic.

S03E08: The Most Adequate Christmas Ever
Stan dies during his ambition to find the perfect Christmas tree. He arrives in Limbo where he learns his family’s lives are threatened, so he goes to desperate measures to return to Earth and receive a second chance at life.

S03E09: Frannie 911
Francine tries to show Roger that Stan still loves him by faking his kidnapping. But when Roger can’t help but act up, she forces him to act nice. Meanwhile, Steve practices becoming a backdancer while Hayley and Klaus play “Truth or Dare.”

S03E10: Tearjerker
In this James Bond parody, Stan plays a 007-type secret agent sent to stop the diabolical Tearjerker (played by Roger) from fulfilling his master plan to create a movie so sad that it causes anyone who watches it to cry themselves to death.

S03E11: Oedipal Panties
Feeling threatened by Stan’s mother, to whom Stan is once again giving support with her failing relationships, Francine seeks to loosen the umbilical cord and find out what goes wrong with her boyfriends. Meanwhile, Steve accidentally catches the Ich from Klaus.

S03E12: Widowmaker
Francine pushes Stan to open up to her emotionally but, after a few psychiatrist sessions with Roger, he’s more touchy-feely than she can handle when he tells her he killed her friend’s husband. Meanwhile, Steve vows vengeance when Hayley kills the queen bee from his science project.

S03E13: Red October Sky
Stan is assigned to track down a former KGB agent, eventually discovering that the man is his new next-door neighbor and is trying to turn Steve into a communist. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus head to Europe for a little R & R.

S03E14: Office Spaceman
When the CIA initiates an Alien Task Force, a peculiar twist of fate puts Roger in charge of the task force in disguise, who marks Stan as an alien to protect his own identity. Meanwhile Francine comes to grips with being left-handed.

S03E15: Stanny Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie’s Gold
After officially dying and coming back to life, Stan decides to leave a legacy on the world and begins to search for legendary buried treasure. As the search for gold goes “North,” life at home heads south as Hayley turns to body-piercing, Steve creates a robotic girlfriend and Roger files for sexual harassment.

S03E16: Spring Breakup
Stan has a Spring Break-induced mid-life crisis. With Francine away visiting her parents, Roger “Scotch Bingeington” invites Spring Breakers to party at the Smith household. But Stan nearly has a “Spring Breakdown” when he falls prey to a sexy booze-cruiser and Steve tries to lose his virginity.